Man, oh Manna! The Power of the Purse (Boro Comedy)
In the blink of an eye a baby is transformed from the womb to the world. It’s a little known fact that simultaneous to the birth of a child, the mother’s purse is also transformed. What was once a trendy handbag instantly becomes a messy, eighty pound satchel full of randomosities that would make MacGyver proud.
As a child, I remember staring at my mom’s half ton leather bag with fear and wonder. I knew items had been pulled out of this creature on many occasions to save the day, and yet I couldn’t grasp how the strap withstood all of the weight. Now, I’m a mom as well, and I can fully understand the importance of a purse that holds everything. It saved me from my demise just last week when Luke and I were on our way to the pediatrician.
We were running late for his eighteen month check up and I had left the house without packing a sippy cup or a snack. An act of such negligence is considered taboo in our family, but there was no time to turn back. Of course, as soon as I made this realization, Luke began asking for cookies. “Just great”, I thought. This is going to be a long trip.
I kept my eyes on the road as I blindly began rummaging through my purse. Eureka! I found a pack of animal crackers and quickly passed them back to Luke. In an instant, he had scarfed them down and was requesting more. I groped through my purse, yet again, in hopes of finding a loose cookie or two. I expected this search to be fruitless, but to my surprise, I found another pack of animal crackers. What luck.
Twice more this happened and both times the search turned up more animal crackers. Four packs total wasn’t bad for what was a seemingly ill-equipped bag, not to mention also finding a granola bar, half a candy cane, and a tube of Target brand anti-itch cream (that I do not remember purchasing). I immediately thought back to the Bible story where Jesus fed a multitude of people with five loaves and two fish given to him by a little boy. That’s when it hit me. That wasn’t a miracle at all. They were just pulling things out of his mother’s purse. I could probably feed twenty people right now with the contents of my purse, so long as no one minded eating stale cheese puffs, a World’s Finest chocolate bar and sharing what is probably an expired juice box. Then again, maybe that is the miracle.
You may not find my new accessories in Vogue, and I may not have room in my bag for things like nail polish, lip liner, or perfume, but if I can continue to pull rabbits out of my hat and make my little fella happy, then I think it’s worth the sacrifice.
Article By: Lori Wescott – Murfreesboro Comedian
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Short URL: http://murfreesboronewspress.com/?p=1236
Posted by murfreesboronews
on Apr 26 2010. Filed under Murfreesboro Humor.
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